saying farwell

I got divorced again

Last week Thursday at this time I was sitting at the Randburg Magistrates Court freezing my butt having just been handed the final decree of my divorce. Yip you heard right, I got divorced again. I suppose right about now is where a lot of judgement is about to kick in, but for those ready to pass judgement, I strongly suggest you save your energy and time.

The first time I got divorced I worried so much about what everyone else thought and had to say that I ended making myself confused and utterly miserable. My religion and my kids were the two things repeated thrown in my face. This time I couldn’t give a shit to be rather honest. This time around I’m handling things differently. Leading up to the divorce we didn’t tell any family and I chose to only tell a select few friends that I wholeheartedly trust. It made the process (though exceptionally difficult) easier on all of us. I have also been going for weekly therapy sessions to make sure that this was not merely an emotional decision. One last thing was breaking the news to the kids with the help of Ash’s doctors.

The decision to let someone back into hearts and lives, after getting divorced was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I’m constantly preaching about living your best life and stepping away from things that no longer bring positivity into your life. Staying would have been the damn easy option especially seeing as there are no issues of abuse or adultery, but staying would have also made me a complete and utter hypocrite. This was in no way an easy decision. Divorce is one of those situations were there are no winners. There was no celebration, or sigh of relief or divorce party (like what’s that about anyway?). We are all extremely sad and will need time to properly deal and come to terms with this. Divorce is an emotional roller-coaster that turns your life upside down, but getting divorced with confidence after carefully weighing the pros and cons is key.

Marriage is a daily commitment, an unwavering allegiance to a relationship and a partner.

A reason, a season or a lifetime

We were together for 10 years and in truth that’s a lifetime. When I reflect I can honestly say that the first 5 years were the most incredible years of my life. I never felt so appreciated, cared for, loved and valued.  We had something incredibly special, but marriage changes people and it changed our relationship. Signing that piece of paper made all the difference. I honestly regret taking that step. If only we could go back and do things differently.  The saying that “people come into over lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime” holds an incredible amount of truth. In this case it was a season and for the most part it was a beautiful season. I’m going to choose to focus on the positives of this season. You are probably thinking that it’s so weird that I used our wedding photos for a post about getting divorced again, but these photos encapsulate the best part of our journey together.  I’m grateful to Clifford for the good times, the funny moments, beautiful memories, for accepting my kids, for accepting me for who I am and for so much more.

No Gory Details #SorryNotSorry

I won’t be going into the gory details of why we got divorced. #SorryNotSorry but all the finer details of why we got divorced doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else. I don’t hate my ex-husband and I only wish the very best for him and his life going forward. You will still see us together occasionally. The divorce was between us but has nothing to do with my kids, so he is still very much part of Ashton and Skylar’s lives. In fact we have a family weekend getaway over the upcoming long weekend. Getting divorced isn’t always about anger and hatred, sometimes things just don’t work and it’s as simple as that.

wedding
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” 

Please respect our privacy

As we move forward and try to pick up the pieces so as to restore some normalcy to our lives, we would really appreciate it if you would respect our privacy. Yes, I did choose to share this very private part of our lives with you, but as someone who’s constantly in the public eye with a blog that’s based heavily on the values of honesty and truth, I couldn’t keep this from you. Consider this post an official statement and know that I will not be responding to any comments or direct messages asking for the gory details of our divorce. Thank you in advance for your consideration, support and understanding.

12 Comments

  1. Big hugs to you and the boys xx

  2. Hugs mama. I respect you for being able to share this. Being a divorcee myself I feel you, I understand. Sending you tons of love.

  3. Hugs Tash
    You are an inspiration!

  4. Well done! Lots of respect!

  5. Love and hugs
    Respect for you is huge
    xxxx

  6. I’m in tears, for you, because this is sad, saying goodbye is sad, even if it was just for a season with that someone. All the best ahead. Glad you’re keeping it private.

  7. Alk the best with the next chapter of your lives, one thing you should know, you will never walk alone, even when you feel alone😘😘❤️❤️🙏🙏

  8. Cannot believe it Tash, I’m lost for words, and heart broken. Sending lots of love and strength to you and your boys, though you are already such a strong person. I know will you pull through. Still my hero!

  9. No request for reply, nor details. But I just want to say, your courage consistently inspires me. And by the sounds of your article, it’s clear that the decision you both made was to consciously uncouple your marriage.
    Keep shining, Mama

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